I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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