is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
