jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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