see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
