I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
