I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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