she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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