nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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