I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
