Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
