Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
