There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
