i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
