So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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