fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
