Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize