ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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