Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
