were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How does one acquire holy water?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
