First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
