PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
