Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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