Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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