Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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