well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
