her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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