My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
