Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
