How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
