Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
