its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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