Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
