Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I supernannyed him into submission
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
