i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
