As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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