haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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