A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
