If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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