What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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