do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
