It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize