i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
vagina is talking i cant
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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