Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
my liver is dry heaving
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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