he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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