You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
