they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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