Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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