So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
