its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Even my vagina gasped.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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