..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
