There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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