Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
