Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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