i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
