some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize