Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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