I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
