erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I want her autograph on my taint
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
