Whod you bang
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize