i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
