I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I still have a little drunk in my system
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
