Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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