The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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